Sister Wives Blog: S03 E08 This weeks Episode Sister Wives: Another ...: How do you explain the case of one of the world's most famous polygamists to a polygamist family? That's a question that gets answered Su...
Even though I don’t think they set out to do this show with the intentions to change the world and laws as they are. That seems to be the direction they have been thrusted into. They just wanted to expose their lives to the public, in hopes of receiving basic understanding and acceptance of their lifestyle. Not only for themselves, but to maybe make things easier for their children in the future. I think they definitely accomplished showing the public, at least me, there is a whole other side to the polygamist lifestyle, that I was never aware of. A positive side. Who knew! I, along with many other viewers I suspect. Viewed the world of polygamy in solely a negative light. When I used to think of “polygamy”, I immediately associated it with “child molestation, the demeaning of women, etc”, aka “Warren Jeffs”. Until the Browns opened up their lives to the public, all I knew of was the negative con-donations associated with polygamy. As far as I’m concerned, the Brown family have been successful in changing many peoples views & opinions on what a polygamist family entails.
The Browns stated at the beginning they were doing the show because their lifestyle has always been kept in such a hush hush, secretive society. As a result of this, the majority of mainstream society has automatically assumed this was due to the fact that it IS such tawdry lifestyle. It was assumed that this lifestyle bordered on abuse so prevalently, that it must be kept under wraps. Because if exposed, they would be surely persecuted by not only the public, but with-in the court system as well.
Here’s how I see things, put simply & clearly. The public have only seen ONE side of polygamy portrayed. Threw the media mainly. And up until now, it was ALWAYS in a VERY negative light. For so many years now, through no fault of our own, we’ve all had preconceived notions about the polygamist lifestyle. So between how secretive these communities have always been (turns out with GOOD reason). Coupled with the sensational media stories that have all watched in horror. The public has never had anything else to go on. Until now that is.
I suspect there are many other families like the Browns out there in hiding as well. After they’v seen what the Browns have gone through as a result of “coming out”, I sure they’l remain in hiding until this country not only catches up, but opens up their minds to it all. I’v seen nothing but a positive, stable, loving, respectful, God fearing family on the show. The Brows family hold the kind of religious, kinship, and marriage values, that are quite frankly harder & harder to find with-in todays “typical” main-stream families.
It’s sad to me that despite showing us all these positive, even REFRESHING, family values the last few seasons. They were all persecuted anyways. Forced to flee from their home, or run the risk of God only knows what kind persecution. And for what? For standing up and saying “This is who we are, and what we're about. Please just accept us." ? They NEVER pushed or even alluded that WE should live as they do. On the contrary. All’s they asked is that WE, allow THEM to live as they do, peacefully. A pretty simple request I think. Some would even say, it’s their constitutional right to do so. Sadly it has proven to be ANYTHING but simple for them.
Am I the only one that has a problem with this family being run out of town like they were? It was reminiscent of the torch & pitch forks days! Why can’t people see this is SO WRONG and SO UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Why aren’t more people outraged & demanding that these people be given their rights back. We have freedom of choice, speech and religion in this country, remember?! They even showed how careful they were as to not to violate any insurance or tax laws, or anything else to that nature already. The police or any other legal entities shouldn’t of bothered this family at all! PERIOD! It’s ironic that THEY respected the laws & rules having to do with taxes, insurance & legal marriage rules/ laws. Yet the law never seemed to give them a chance to explain or to prove to them, that they were all in compliance.
All’s the Browns have done is ask that we open our minds & challenge us to rid ourselves of our pre-conceived notions about their type of family. To simply watch & hopefully learn. THEN decide.They showed us this whole other side, that was not at all like what I have always pictured
. I think that the biggest problem with the general public that have actually opened their minds while watching the show is this. They simply can’t wrap their heads around the fact, that they had it ALL wrong to begin with! It’s an especially hard pill to swallow, for those of us who pride ourselves on being so damn politically correct & “open minded” to begin with. With-in the Browns family life, lies your truth. They are the PROOF that we DID, in deed have it all wrong. They’v proven to me anyways that there is in fact this whole other version of a polygamist family that resides in our country. A version that is NOT AT ALL like the Jeff’s version. What we have all been taught and thought was the norm with-in this particular society, simply isn’t correct . I not only suspect, but am convinced, that the type of polygamist family that the Browns are, is the real “norm" in polygamy. What a revelation huh?! Norm or not, as Americans, they deserve our acceptance & most of all, seem to need our help. .
Is it so hard to believe that the Brown family IS in fact the “norm" of a polygamist a marriage? That what we have been shown and has been depicted through the media & TV, in association to polygamy, have all been just examples of isolated instances? Was it all just horrible instances, where polygamy was used to enable certain predators? Predators are sadly among us everywhere,with-in all our societies. I’l give you that this lifestyle certainly seems most ideal for certain monsters to flourish and victimize. Unbeknownst to some of these polygamist societies, their dynamics could easily help aid a pedophile to have easy, unlimited access to their victims of choice. Also disturbing. They convince their whole community, even their victims, that it’s all because it’s what God wants them do. As in the Jeff’s case, him being the “chosen one”, they must abide by his & the lords wishes to remain faithful.
Over the years, along our counties journey, there have been many human relationships, or lifestyle choices, that were wrongly deemed amoral & therefor made illegal. Today these same relationships, no one hardly even notices, let alone care enough to raise a stink about.
I was under the impression that the constitution would protect us and our families from certain prejudices and persecution. Especially when the only issue is that our beliefs happen to fall outside what is considered “the norm”. Even though the Browns family dynamic isn’t the dynamic I would ever personally choose for myself or my children. It is simply just that, A CHOICE. A choice that NO ONE should have the authority to make for you, period. Certain laws are still in place, even after all these years. That are unconstitutional. The Brown families current situation is evidence of that.
I guess I feel so strongly & passionately about this families current plight, for what I would consider a basic human right, because not that long ago, I would of been persecuted & run out of town due to who I ultimately fell in love with. I have been in a biracial relationship for 16 years now (I am white, he is black). Up until 1967, a mere 44 years ago. It was illegal for us to co-habitate & become legally married.
Thankfully SLOWLY, & I mean, EVER SO SLOWLY. As our country aged. MOST OF US ANYWAYS, along with our government, became much more educated on all the various, different lifestyles. They began to maybe not embrace, but at least to accept, that people have the right to choose whoever they want to love & marry & live however they choose in that regard. No matter what their race, religion, sex or creed might be. We have the right to be able to freely choose what type of life & who we want to live that life with. Love really isn’t even a choice really. The heart wants what it wants. End of story! It’s our God given human right. Only we should have the right to choose such things for ourselves.
Thankfully, most of countries assorted relationship choices were eventually granted. As a result, along came the beauty of tolerance & eventual acceptance. That is in fact ALL this family is asking for. Simple tolerance. I’m sure with the ultimate goal of acceptance. That’s all any of wants really.
I never once heard them ask us, their viewers, to live as they do. Or even ask us to embrace them at all! All they've ever really asked of us, is to watch how they live, then decide our stance. That we all just accept that's the way THEY wish to live their lives. Neither us, or any government agencies, should have the right to pass judgment or to condemn them. Especially in regards to their children. I hear so many people condemning these good kids, for their parents decisions.
I always thought our Constitution was created to safe-guard us. "Us" meaning "We", as in "We the people". EQUALITY was made for US. ALL OF US.
Hopefully, for the Browns sake, and all the families like theirs. They too will be able to one day experience their own moment in time. A moment in time, not at all unlike the one I have right now. Where they too, will be able to reflect back into time. In utter bewilderment of how things used to be.
A time where they can think to themselves. “Wow, I can’t believe my life as I live it now, was ever illegal! It’s unfathomable that I could of ever been persecuted for how I live today.” .
If one these reflections should ever be made, by one of the Browns own children. Especially if they ultimately choose to follow in their parents footsteps. They will surely have their parents to thank for the rights they’l have.
I have a message for the Browns children. I hope they get to read this some day.- Children, It’s your parents, who are solely responsible for bringing your families lifestyle to the forefront. Despite the knowledge that their/your lifestyle would likely become a VERY heated issue & the topic of much debate, PUBLICALLY mind you. And that once exposed. They ran the risk of not only ridicule. But possible job and financial insecurity. They bravely did it anyways. I suspect they did it mostly to pave a much smoother path for you in your futures. You should be very proud of ALL your Mom’s and Dad. AND let’s not forget yourselves.
Now to the parents: I know you’re probably feeling frustrated, angry, maybe even hurt. Given the consequences that followed your “coming out”. I am embarrassed & appalled by not only our governments reactions. But some of the publics reactions as well. Please don’t ever regret it. One of you stated on the show, what one of your goals were by doing the show. I don’t recall exact words at all. But you basically said that you were doing the show, to educate the public on what your lifestyle was really like. With the hope of some acceptance. You mentioned that due to all the secrecy with-in your lifestyle, there was much misinformation & misconceptions out there, that you wanted to correct. It must of been exhausting anyways to keep such a secret. Please know, in regards to getting acceptance. YOU DID IT. Beautifully I might add. You have a large number of supporters that would help you. I’m so sorry that you and children had to flee the way you did. As if you were common criminals, fleeing from justice. Ironically, it was justice you were seeking to begin with! You were forced to leave behind your entire way of living as you’ve always known it. A very high price to pay indeed. You have all suffered a great deal as a result of doing the show. But it is said that with great hardship & sacrifice, great rewards will surely follow. I truly believe you will be rewarded for your bravery and openness one day. It should comfort you that at the very least, it will be your children & grandchildren, the will reap the full benefits of your reward.
Please let me/us know if there’s anything I/we could possibly do to help your family. To obtain the equal rights you are being denied. Both on a state & a federal level. There must be SOMETHING we could do, a petition perhaps? I believe that you have many supporters that would be more then willing to help you and spread your words. I feel your current situation is appalling, unacceptable and just plain un-American! Just let us know what we can do to help.
As I stated before. Even though your lifestyle isn’t one that I would personally choose. Just as mine surely wouldn’t be right for you. Please know that I support and respect your choice to live as you do. I have no negative judgments about anyone, or anything having to do with your family. In fact, I commend you all on your bravery and sacrifices. I’d like to Thank-you for educating me and my family about your lifestyle. Try to find comfort in the fact, that you have single handedly, well, 10 handedly anyways! LOL! Changed countless thousands of peoples minds & opinions on your lifestyle. You created a whole new picture, that is now attached with the word “Polygamist”. It’s a beautiful, positive picture, that deserves just as much respect, as anyone else’s family picture does. I wish you all the best. I hope in the very near future, I get to whiteness your family struggles come to positive end. Then you will be able to continue to prosper & flourish. OPENLY. Wherever and however you choose.
Respectively, Kimberly
